BURRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Snowbaby
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thoughts on God
Back in October I was engaged in a conversation about politics in an email thread with some friends. It inadvertently turned into a conversation about God, primarily because my friend Blake, who is actually the younger brother of one of my best friends, kept turning everything back to God and faith and prayer. At the time this was very frustrating for me. If I'm being honest I'd have to say that up until that point, my attitude towards church, and religion, and ultimately God, had been somewhat cynical. I should be clear... I've always believed in God. I've always been a Christian. Since I was little. That doesn't necessarily mean I always understood what it meant and it certainly didn't mean I had a relationship with God.
I'll spare the long details of the email conversation back in October, but something very significant happened to me on October 22nd, which was a Thursday. I was in between patients and got in my car, eager to check my email and see if anyone had responded to the thread, and there was an email from Blake. He had sent me a very long email basically telling me his entire testimony. One thing in particular that resonated very deeply with me was a story about how one of his friends came to him and was in great need spiritually. Blake arranged for them to meet his bible study leader at Starbucks and he sat back and watched the guy lead his friend to Christ right then and there. As they were leaving, his bible study leader asked Blake "what makes you happy in life?" Blake remained silent because he knew his answer would be some typical "guy" answer. He then looked Blake square in the face and said, "I fish for men's souls". Blake explained to me about how that moment changed his life forever and he committed himself to doing the same right then. This was approximately 2 years ago and now he turned up in our email conversation and was addressing me.
His email was very long and very encouraging. He told me all the ways that he used to look up to me when he was younger and pointed out things in me that he saw as strengths. As he told me about his faith, he encouraged me in mine and as I read his email I found myself overcome with emotion. It was kind of like a sucker punch. I'm going along, minding my own business when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the Holy Spirit jumps out of the bushes and punches me right in the chest! It was awesome... and weird. I believe that God used Blake that day to renew my spirit. It wasn't one particular thing, or even a number of things. But I had basically reached a point where I simply wasn't involving God in any aspect of my life, much less my family's. In that moment I had this overwhelming notion of "it's not about me" and "nothing else matters". I called Emily and told her that I felt like God was working on me and I asked her to pray. I then proceeded to drive 30 miles to my next patient's house in utter silence. Just kind of pondering everything.
Since that day, I've had an undying desire to grow closer to the Lord. I have a goal and desire to get in the Word everyday, and I'm failing miserably, but keep trying. I have a goal and a desire to pray everyday, alone and with Emily, and I'm failing miserably, but keep trying. As I dig in the scriptures, and discuss God with others, and listen to sermons, I understand a little more each day that the only thing that matters is a relationship with Christ. Good behavior, morality, rules, regulations, they're all great, but they don't bring salvation. Christ brings salvation, and with salvation comes change. A change of heart and mind. I am a human. I am a man. I am a Christian. I am not God, and therefore, I am not perfect. I fall short every single day of His glory. How can one not, especially in today's age of technology, entertainment, sports, television, celebrities, and the internet? No matter which way you turn, there is a distraction or a temptation. But the beauty is the cross, and the fact that Christ came here and faced those same distractions and temptations so that I would have an empathetic savior and so that I would know that I always have a way out when faced with sin.
My reason for writing this is not to be preachy. It is because I have a desire to talk with others about God. I want to share, I want to discuss, I want to learn. And I want others to see God's grace and mercy and salvation through me and my family. It just so happens that this is a particular area that I've never been comfortable with. And I think a lot of people struggle in the same way. I think it comes from a worldly fear that I'm going to offend someone or that someone is going to think I'm odd. Well that's my problem and my sin. I'm encouraged every day by people like Blake and my friend Austin. Both are guys that are like little brothers to me, yet I find myself looking up to them in their walk with Christ. I'm encouraged by people in my life that are dealing with divorce, cancer, death of a loved one, or just hardship in general, yet rather than shake their fists at God, they are digging deeper in to His grace. I'm encouraged by people like Matt Chandler, the lead pastor at the Village Church in Dallas. He's only 3 or 4 years older than me and has a wife and 3 kids. On Thanksgiving he had a seizure and it turns out he has a brain tumor. Surgeons operated but were unable to get all of it so now he is going through radiation and chemo. Here are 2 videos that exemplify, not only God's grace and mercy, but also why he has had such an impact on my life.
Before tumor:
After tumor (sorry, couldn't embed this one):
Video from Matt
I have been truly blessed throughout my life. I have wonderful parents. I have a brother and sister that I love. I have a small group of best friends that I have known since childhood, all of whom have a sense of loyalty and brotherhood that a lot of guys my age can't understand. I have a secure job. I have a beautiful house. I have all the toys I could possibly want or need. I have 3 awesome dogs. I have in-laws that I actually adore, and I think they are pretty fond of me. And I have the most amazing, beautiful, caring wife there is. And we have the most amazing, beautiful little girl on planet earth. Sorry, it's a fact. I have everything, but it's all nothing without Christ at the center. I mentioned before that I have a goal and a desire to pray every day, and that I'm working on it. When I pray, I ask God for things like wisdom, guidance, clarity, understanding, strength, and ability in my personal life, in my marriage, and as I read the scriptures. I thank Him for forgiveness, grace, mercy, love, and faith. I pray for guidance for Em and I as parents, so that we can lay a foundation for her to learn and understand the grace of God, and so that when God decides it is time, He will light a fire inside her and she will believe, and He will save her soul.
I don't really know how to wrap this up so I'll say this. I mentioned my friend Austin earlier. He started a blog yesterday and I read it and felt very inspired and encouraged to write this. Ultimately, I kind of copied him. He's a great guy so if you want to be encouraged and inspired as well, check out his blog. There's a link over to the right for Smith Family Blog. I'll end with Blake's closing remarks to me in his email. He said...
I’ll leave you with this…………………This world is an evil place and Godly men are a dying breed. We have to seek God’s will daily in order to fight the evil that stands against us. If you believe God exists and His only goal is to have a loving and compassionate relationship with you, then we also have to believe that the devil exists and his only goal is to destroy your walk with Christ, your marriage, your family, your friendships, and your peace and joy. Fight the good fight my brothers, take a stand today because we aren’t promised tomorrow.
I'll spare the long details of the email conversation back in October, but something very significant happened to me on October 22nd, which was a Thursday. I was in between patients and got in my car, eager to check my email and see if anyone had responded to the thread, and there was an email from Blake. He had sent me a very long email basically telling me his entire testimony. One thing in particular that resonated very deeply with me was a story about how one of his friends came to him and was in great need spiritually. Blake arranged for them to meet his bible study leader at Starbucks and he sat back and watched the guy lead his friend to Christ right then and there. As they were leaving, his bible study leader asked Blake "what makes you happy in life?" Blake remained silent because he knew his answer would be some typical "guy" answer. He then looked Blake square in the face and said, "I fish for men's souls". Blake explained to me about how that moment changed his life forever and he committed himself to doing the same right then. This was approximately 2 years ago and now he turned up in our email conversation and was addressing me.
His email was very long and very encouraging. He told me all the ways that he used to look up to me when he was younger and pointed out things in me that he saw as strengths. As he told me about his faith, he encouraged me in mine and as I read his email I found myself overcome with emotion. It was kind of like a sucker punch. I'm going along, minding my own business when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the Holy Spirit jumps out of the bushes and punches me right in the chest! It was awesome... and weird. I believe that God used Blake that day to renew my spirit. It wasn't one particular thing, or even a number of things. But I had basically reached a point where I simply wasn't involving God in any aspect of my life, much less my family's. In that moment I had this overwhelming notion of "it's not about me" and "nothing else matters". I called Emily and told her that I felt like God was working on me and I asked her to pray. I then proceeded to drive 30 miles to my next patient's house in utter silence. Just kind of pondering everything.
Since that day, I've had an undying desire to grow closer to the Lord. I have a goal and desire to get in the Word everyday, and I'm failing miserably, but keep trying. I have a goal and a desire to pray everyday, alone and with Emily, and I'm failing miserably, but keep trying. As I dig in the scriptures, and discuss God with others, and listen to sermons, I understand a little more each day that the only thing that matters is a relationship with Christ. Good behavior, morality, rules, regulations, they're all great, but they don't bring salvation. Christ brings salvation, and with salvation comes change. A change of heart and mind. I am a human. I am a man. I am a Christian. I am not God, and therefore, I am not perfect. I fall short every single day of His glory. How can one not, especially in today's age of technology, entertainment, sports, television, celebrities, and the internet? No matter which way you turn, there is a distraction or a temptation. But the beauty is the cross, and the fact that Christ came here and faced those same distractions and temptations so that I would have an empathetic savior and so that I would know that I always have a way out when faced with sin.
My reason for writing this is not to be preachy. It is because I have a desire to talk with others about God. I want to share, I want to discuss, I want to learn. And I want others to see God's grace and mercy and salvation through me and my family. It just so happens that this is a particular area that I've never been comfortable with. And I think a lot of people struggle in the same way. I think it comes from a worldly fear that I'm going to offend someone or that someone is going to think I'm odd. Well that's my problem and my sin. I'm encouraged every day by people like Blake and my friend Austin. Both are guys that are like little brothers to me, yet I find myself looking up to them in their walk with Christ. I'm encouraged by people in my life that are dealing with divorce, cancer, death of a loved one, or just hardship in general, yet rather than shake their fists at God, they are digging deeper in to His grace. I'm encouraged by people like Matt Chandler, the lead pastor at the Village Church in Dallas. He's only 3 or 4 years older than me and has a wife and 3 kids. On Thanksgiving he had a seizure and it turns out he has a brain tumor. Surgeons operated but were unable to get all of it so now he is going through radiation and chemo. Here are 2 videos that exemplify, not only God's grace and mercy, but also why he has had such an impact on my life.
Before tumor:
After tumor (sorry, couldn't embed this one):
Video from Matt
I have been truly blessed throughout my life. I have wonderful parents. I have a brother and sister that I love. I have a small group of best friends that I have known since childhood, all of whom have a sense of loyalty and brotherhood that a lot of guys my age can't understand. I have a secure job. I have a beautiful house. I have all the toys I could possibly want or need. I have 3 awesome dogs. I have in-laws that I actually adore, and I think they are pretty fond of me. And I have the most amazing, beautiful, caring wife there is. And we have the most amazing, beautiful little girl on planet earth. Sorry, it's a fact. I have everything, but it's all nothing without Christ at the center. I mentioned before that I have a goal and a desire to pray every day, and that I'm working on it. When I pray, I ask God for things like wisdom, guidance, clarity, understanding, strength, and ability in my personal life, in my marriage, and as I read the scriptures. I thank Him for forgiveness, grace, mercy, love, and faith. I pray for guidance for Em and I as parents, so that we can lay a foundation for her to learn and understand the grace of God, and so that when God decides it is time, He will light a fire inside her and she will believe, and He will save her soul.
I don't really know how to wrap this up so I'll say this. I mentioned my friend Austin earlier. He started a blog yesterday and I read it and felt very inspired and encouraged to write this. Ultimately, I kind of copied him. He's a great guy so if you want to be encouraged and inspired as well, check out his blog. There's a link over to the right for Smith Family Blog. I'll end with Blake's closing remarks to me in his email. He said...
I’ll leave you with this…………………This world is an evil place and Godly men are a dying breed. We have to seek God’s will daily in order to fight the evil that stands against us. If you believe God exists and His only goal is to have a loving and compassionate relationship with you, then we also have to believe that the devil exists and his only goal is to destroy your walk with Christ, your marriage, your family, your friendships, and your peace and joy. Fight the good fight my brothers, take a stand today because we aren’t promised tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
So 3 Months Later...
WARNING! This is ridiculously long. I've been doing this post for 4 days. It's tough to stay motivated when the browser crashes every time you try to upload multiple pics. Oh well, it's done now. Hope you enjoy it, if you make it all the way to the end! Also, I'm fully aware of the shameless self-indulgence exemplified by the absurd number of pictures... and I'm ok with it. Have fun scrolling. Here goes...
And now with a little more pizazz!
If you've managed to make it this far, then thanks for taking the interest. Now that I've proofread it, it actually isn't that long, there's just a lot of scrolling with all the pictures. Maybe it felt long because it took FOR-E-VER to get all the pictures uploaded and arranged. Ironic, since I decided against doing slideshows because they are so time consuming! We'll keep the updates coming, and it won't be 3 more months. I made a home page to serve as kind of a central hub for this blog, both of our Facebooks, and our MobileMe gallery. Feel free to bookmark it for quick access: www.emmyadam.com
PS-I just want to make it perfectly clear to all who read this how truly thankful I am for my beautiful wife and daughter. I don't know yet what God's will for my life is but He has, at the very least, given me a taste of what fulfillment is.
"For this child I prayed..." -1 Samuel 1:27
It's hard to believe that it has been 3 months since my last post, which means it is also hard to believe that Abbott is 3 months old! Where to begin, where to begin? How about this:And now with a little more pizazz!
Before I proceed, let's get one thing straight... I'd be lying if I said I didn't go through my Limp Bizkit phase in college. Come on, you know you did too. However, I currently think they are one of the most terrible bands of all time, so that is in no way an endorsement of Durst and Co. That said, the song seemed appropriate.
So a lot has happened in the past 3 months, and Abbott is changing every day. Perhaps I'll summarize each month separately.
August:
We spent most of the first month home just getting used to having an additional family member. Fortunately adjustments were minimal because Abbott was a pretty easy baby right out of the gate. Our main focus was trying to get a pattern established and letting Em get as much rest as possible. We had many visitors and Abbott got to meet lots of friends and family. Kyle and Julie stopped by, and Gwendolyn came to visit for a few days. So did Mason, Amber, Anna Kate, and Grace. We got to see Nana and Papoo, Moninny, and Poppy and Dovey as well. Charlie, Oriana and Clare and Kyle were also here for a few days. It was the first time that I've seen my brother since May of 2007 and we finally got to meet Oriana! We had a blast with them just hanging around the house and playing some serious Wii Disc Golf. Here are a few pics from August... just a few.
September:
September:A very eventful month. We didn't get to go on the annual Gulf Shores trip this year, seens how the baby was only 2 weeks old. However, Hudson, Melissa, and the kids met us back down there over Labor Day weekend and we had a blast. And Abbott did great on the 8 hour car trip, which actually ended up being about 11 hours! Both ways! Around 1 month, she really started being responsive, cooing a lot and smiling at us and to our voices. She also started tolerating a little tummy time, but only a little. She experienced her first football Sunday with Dad too. Oh, and lets not forget that first round of shots. That was not fun. Em and Abbott took a little road trip to Crossett one week and then I met them with Nana and Papoo in Hot Springs for the weekend. Abbott got to go out on the barge, but she pretty much hated her life vest. The picture should explain why. Here are some more pics from the month... just a few.
October:
This has been the least eventful month since Abbott arrived, yet it has still managed to be a blast. Of course, how can every single second not be an absolute blast when you have such an amazing, beautiful, perfect child? We haven't done much. We haven't gone anywhere. I spent a Sunday with Mom a few weeks ago for Family Day with her church and had a great time. She's been over a few times for dinner, which we've really enjoyed. Abbott loves to see her Moninny. We've spent a few Sundays with Chip and Kirsten for football. It's become tradition on the weekend when we're all in town. Dad and Deb came over one Saturday for a few hours as well. It's been really great for Abbott to get to spend so much time with all of her grandparents, on both sides. It's truly a blessing. Here are some pics from October so far. Marc and Dana are coming in on Friday for a long weekend. We are super excited! This will be their first time to meet Abbott. We'll post more pics afterwards... but just a few! Enjoy!
October:This has been the least eventful month since Abbott arrived, yet it has still managed to be a blast. Of course, how can every single second not be an absolute blast when you have such an amazing, beautiful, perfect child? We haven't done much. We haven't gone anywhere. I spent a Sunday with Mom a few weeks ago for Family Day with her church and had a great time. She's been over a few times for dinner, which we've really enjoyed. Abbott loves to see her Moninny. We've spent a few Sundays with Chip and Kirsten for football. It's become tradition on the weekend when we're all in town. Dad and Deb came over one Saturday for a few hours as well. It's been really great for Abbott to get to spend so much time with all of her grandparents, on both sides. It's truly a blessing. Here are some pics from October so far. Marc and Dana are coming in on Friday for a long weekend. We are super excited! This will be their first time to meet Abbott. We'll post more pics afterwards... but just a few! Enjoy!
If you've managed to make it this far, then thanks for taking the interest. Now that I've proofread it, it actually isn't that long, there's just a lot of scrolling with all the pictures. Maybe it felt long because it took FOR-E-VER to get all the pictures uploaded and arranged. Ironic, since I decided against doing slideshows because they are so time consuming! We'll keep the updates coming, and it won't be 3 more months. I made a home page to serve as kind of a central hub for this blog, both of our Facebooks, and our MobileMe gallery. Feel free to bookmark it for quick access: www.emmyadam.comPS-I just want to make it perfectly clear to all who read this how truly thankful I am for my beautiful wife and daughter. I don't know yet what God's will for my life is but He has, at the very least, given me a taste of what fulfillment is.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Our First Day Home
We're home! The doctor gave Abbott a clean bill of health and we got discharged this morning around 11:00. First order of business was to introduce her to the dogs. Sam, Frodo, and Lola were very excited to see us since we've been gone for 3 days, but they were also very curious about the baby. After some sniffing and licking, everything seems to be great. Frodo seems to have taken to her the most. He has been very curious all day and he keeps lurking around whenever we hold her. He likes to sit next to me in protective mode. Emily got a long nap today and I hung out with the sleeping beauty on the couch. She spent a lot of the day in the cradle that Em's dad made for us. Not much else has happened today. Max grilled some awesome filets on the Green Egg and went ahead and rewired and installed a few light fixtures... just because. I just wanted to give a quick update and let everyone know that we are home, Em and Abbott are both doing great, and we couldn't be more thrilled. I've put more pics at MobileMe so check them out when you get a chance.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Abbott Clare
Where do I even start?! How about... I'm a DAD! Words cannot describe the last 48 hours. Once Em was fully dilated, which happened super fast, the doc wanted her to "labor down" so that she wouldn't have to do a bunch of extra pushing. So about an hour and a half past 10 cm, the nurse came in and got the party started. (NOTE: I'm fully aware that this post, and probably the rest of my life, is going to be full of cliches about childbirth and feelings that every first time dad has... and I simply do not care.) Obviously, I'm not going to go into detail about the birth, but it was absolutely amazing. Emily was a true champ! It was my first rodeo so I don't have anything to compare to, but she made it look like a piece of cake. I'll say this too, for any of you dads-to-be... watch the birth. I don't care what you think now, or how queazy you are, it's not gross, it's freaking amazing. So Emily pushed for about an hour and 10 minutes and at 2:22 pm on Thursday, July 23rd, 2009, Abbott Clare arrived. And as soon as she did, there was a huge gasp of amazement throughout the room when we all realized how big she was! 9 pounds, 12 ounces and 21 1/2 inches long! Are you kidding me?! She is the most beautiful thing on planet earth, I don't even know how to describe it. All the stuff they say about your life changing instantaneously is absolutely true. The rest of the day was spent putting Abbott through the ringer... poking, prodding, pushing, pulling, cameras, tons of people, bathing, screaming, crying... sounds awesome. Both of our families were here for the event and we have had waves of visitors. Things wound down last night around 10:30 and it was finally just Mommy, Daddy, and Baby. Once it was quiet and just us, the reality and emotion and joy of the entire day came crashing down on both of us. We kept her in the room with us until about midnight and then called the nursery to take her for the night so we could sleep. And sleep we did. They brought her in around 3 am so Em could feed her and then took her back. Speaking of that... so far, Em and Abbott are taking to nursing very well. We pray it will stick! We both slept great and then this morning they brought her back in and we've spent the entire day with family and visitors. Mer came by with Allie and Mary this morning because they've been dying to hold Abbott. My mom surprised us by dropping in this afternoon and Em's dad got here around 5:30. The pediatrician is gonna clear us to go home in the morning so we're crashing here one more night. But the room is nice and big and the service has been top notch the entire time, so it's actually not that bad. It has been a whirlwind and we're pretty beat, despite the good sleep last night. Now we're just ready to get home and start the next chapter. Emily and I want everyone to know how much we appreciate you all. We have been inundated with phone calls, voice mails, text messages, Skype chats, and visitors. Technology has made it possible for us to share this with so many people. I feel like there is so much more to write about, but I'm beat and slightly distracted by this little piece of perfection next to me. I will say this... this has been the greatest birthday of my life. Here are a few pics from the last 2 days. To see more, go to my MobileMe gallery. I'll also get an album up at emmyadam as soon as I can.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The Waiting Game...
Well, it's finally here! We're having this baby whether we like it or not. We got to the hospital last night around 8 and got settled into our rather large room. By the time everything was done and Em was all "patched in to the system" it was almost 11. They gave her an Ambien and it knocked her right out and she got a few hours of sleep. Her water broke about 1:45 this morning so there was a lot of activity for a while. The contractions really started getting her attention after that and they gave her the epidural around 5 am. Some tiny spurts of shuteye was all either of us really got once her water broke. Em's mom got here around 7 this morning and Mer around 8. The doc checked her around 8:15 and she was dilated to 4 cm. Another check around 9:30 and she was at 6 cm, so it looks like things are moving along. Her contractions are pretty strong and fairly regular, but she doesn't really feel them. Her biggest issue has been some nausea, which the doc says is a good sign and very normal. So we're just waiting now. Uhh... the nurse just checked... 9 cm! Looks like she's coming way sooner than expected! We'll keep you posted.
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